Friday, June 11, 2010

This one time ... Pedicure

One of my birthday treats this year was a pedicure:
Oh, how I love pedicures. I mean, I really, really, REALLY love them. There aren't enough words to properly express the feelings I have towards women scraping, rubbing, hitting, stoning, and massaging my feet! Back in my working days, my friend Lynn and I had scheduled bi-weekly pedicures (remember that, Lynn?). Seems like forever ago. Now they are sporadic treats I eagerly look forward to. Anyway, sitting on that massage chair last Saturday brought back a funny memory that for some reason, I have neglected to share with you. And since I am all about sharing, well here we go...

Way back when I was pregnant with Isabella, my Wisconsin friends decided to throw me a baby shower. Needless to say it was quite lovely and oh so fun. I mean, I love these people. Love them to death! They all stood up in our Puerto Rico wedding (I'm sure it didn't hurt to have the wedding in February). They are my peeps. The only problem was, the 10 hour drive there and back. While I was 8 months pregnant. It was, how can I put it,... a bit taxing, to say the least.

 These are my peeps!
Isabella's Baby Shower
June 2005 ~ Milwaukee, WI

Lucky for me, I had the easiest pregnancies ever! I didn't have a single day of morning/afternoon/evening sickness, not an ounce of nausea, nothing. Except, towards the end, my legs got very swollen. They were huge! I had no ankles for the last couple months of my pregnancies. In fact, Scott called them my ham hocks. He's such a supportive little one, isn't he?

So, we get up to Milwaukee and I asked Scott to stop by the mall so that I could get a few last minute things I needed. While there, we walked by a nail place and the thought of a nice pedicure took over every ounce of my being. I had to have one! Especially after that long trip. I just HAD to! So I walk in, pick my color and make my way to the nearest available chair.

Disclaimer: OK, so I just have to put this out there. I am Puerto Rican. Born and raised. My first language is NOT English, it is Spanish. And Lord knows I've butchered enough English words, just ask my WI peeps, they'll gladly share some of those with you! So please know that I would never make fun of someone's accent. So if you are reading this and you are from Vietnam, please do not take offense to the following and please know that no other culture in the whole entire world can give a better pedicure that you.

With that being said, here's what happened: I am eight months pregnant and I'm sitting on this massage chair enjoying my moment of pampering, while this little old Vietnamese lady is working away. She lifts my leg up to scrub my feet and apparently it is not as high as she would like for it to be. So she says:

Little Old Vietnamese Lady: "Leaf leg!" 
And I obediently, and uncomfortably, lift my leg a bit higher.


Little Old Vietnamese Lady: "Leaf leg higha!" 
And I try to lift my leg a bit higher, but I know it ain't gonna happen. 

So I say to her:
Me: "Ma'am, I am so sorry, but I can't lift it any higher. I'm pregnant!"

To which she "kindly" replies:
Little Old Vietnamese Lady: "Oh, I sory! I sow you fat!" 
Whoa! Is she for real?

I think it's fair to say I was pretty shocked by this point, so I not-so-graciously responded with:
Me: "Well, I guess I'm that too. I'm fat and I'm pregnant. I'm not really sure what difference it makes. I CANNOT LIFT MY LEG ANY HIGHER!"

And this is where everyone in the salon looks at us and she sheepishly smiles and begins talking to the lady working right next to her. In Vietnamese. Now, I'm not a betting woman, but I'm willing to put some money on the fact that she was talking about me. And our little exchange. What do you think?

So, as you can imagine we've had quite a few great laughs with my "Leaf leg higha!" pedicure experience. And those words have become quite the catchphrase in our home. So much so, that every now and then even Isabella tells Sam to "Leaf leg higha!".

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh, do I miss our bi-weekly pedicures! This story is so freaking funny I think I just peed my pants.
Lynn

Anonymous said...

Oh my God this is too funny. I had a similar experience... Emy came to visit when I lived in Lemoore CA and so out of the blue we decided to get a pedi. Well we got to this nail place and we said we want a pedi and this asian lady mumbles what color? and mind you this is the first pedi in the US for me so I wasn't sure what she was talking about. ... She got exasperated asking me what color? What color? What color? and I was like what color what? Lady I don't understand what you are asking. Until the owner came and ask me to choose a nail polish color from the shelf ha ha it was hilarious. Then when we got to the chair we realize (Emy and I) forgot to shave our legs. So the ladies started yapping in their native language and Emy and I could not stop laughing because we were sure they were talking about our hairy legs LOL ... so until this day every time I see a nail place I always joke asking WHAT COLOR>>?? :P
Angie

the shoafs said...

oh. my. gosh. that's too funny! i'm pretty good at deciphering accents because my oma is from Germany and she's still got a pretty good one going on...even after sometime like 60+ years here! my very fave is one Christmas when all her adorable grandchildren (yours truly included!) snuggled around her to listen to her reading "twas the night before Christmas" and we couldn't make it past the part where they name the reindeer because she couldn't say "vixen"...it came out "wixen". tears were ROLLING (even her) we were laughing so hard. guess how that poor reindeer's name has been pronounced ever since?

Liz Butler said...

Angie, that is HILARIOUS!!! I love it! We should do a survey,... I bet there are millions of stories like these. Maybe we could even write a book: Diary of a Vietnamese Nail Salon, or something along those lines :)

LOL I'm sure Wixen was as honorable a reindeer as they come. HA HA HA! That is too cute!